


Lying liar

by retikrit



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Eren is 18 and the bastard he is in the manga, M/M, and couldn't find any fic, thats a very self indulgent fic bc I love levi and eren's dynamic post time skip
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-12
Updated: 2019-01-13
Packaged: 2019-09-16 21:43:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,655
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16962027
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/retikrit/pseuds/retikrit
Summary: Eren has a troubled mind. It's an understatement, if you ask Levi, or anyone who knows Eren.





	1. Chapter 1

“He’s out.”

Levi’s breath hitches. To say he’s surprised is an understatement. And Hanji’s tone indicates clearly that he isn’t the only one. Who could blame them, no one exactly would have been able to predict it. Still, Levi feels foolish for not thinking about it sooner. He’s almost sure it’s all this monkey’s fault.

He sighs in the phone, easily communicating to Hanji his annoyance. “Great. Just great.”

They both understand how bad it is. Hanji doesn’t bother voicing it. “I asked Mikasa, but apparently he didn’t come home. They want to look for him but...”

“But it’s stupid and we’re wasting time.” He scoffs. “What now?” He trusts Hanji’s opinion on this. They usually know what to do, even if Levi doubts this time is any easier than before.

“I was hoping you’d know where to look? Obviously we can’t let him do whatever he wants.” Yeah, that’s probably wise, Levi thinks bitterly. Eren’s track record hasn’t been the best lately. And if he decides to go down this path, who knows how messy this could get. Not for the first time, Levi wishes Erwin was there with them to figure this shit out.

“Me? If even Mikasa doesn’t know where he is, why would I?” He frowns, even though he probably already knows the answer. It doesn’t stop him from asking.

“Levi! He trusts you, don’t you believe it?” Levi is not very fond of quickly Hanji points it out. The brat is nothing special to him, all he’s doing is his work. Even though this probably stopped being the truth a long time ago.

“Whatever. I don’t know where he is. It’s not like we have superpowers or anything, we’ll just have to wait until he decides he wants to see us.” And not opposite. It hurts Levi in a weird way. If only they had done a better job with the kid, they probably wouldn’t be there. He hangs up, not waiting for Hanji’s reply.

He pours himself a nice cup of tea, body heavy as he moves in the kitchen. The last couple days weigh him down. Maybe he’ll visit Mikasa and Armin later on. After all, they’re the one hurting the most, and Levi will offer any comfort he can give, no matter how little that is.

 

Two sharp knocks wake him up. He rolls in his bed, looking for his clock. 2 am. So he’s not crazy. This person is. He groans, knowing fully well he has to check the door before being able to go back to sleep. He grabs a shirt, hoping this and his shorts will be enough to the early visitor.

He drags his feet to the front door, not bothering checking through the peephole before opening the door. On the other side, he’s met with the sight a long haired giant. Levi’s own height only aggravates the contrast. Bright bored eyes try to look through him, looking for a friend . But Levi’s eyes are on the guy’s face, battered in old and new bruises. The only thing that doesn’t look too damaged is the guy’s vest, black and classy.

Levi finds his voice again. “Eren, what ….-” Eren raises his hand, silencing Levi. He looks tired, in more than one way. 

“Can I?” He looks behind Levi, asking for permission to come in. 

Levi finds himself nodding quickly, letting Eren in despite his better judgement. He’s been doing a lot of that lately, when it comes to Eren. Shit, when has he gone soft on the brat? He closes the door swiftly, already making a mental list of things he’ll need to patch Eren up. “You better have a good explanation for this, kid.” The old insult sounds dull, even to him. Calling the man Eren has become a kid is almost an insult. Levi wonders if Eren has ever really been a kid.

Eren is already looking as if it was his home, sitting down on the old couch, at ease. He doesn’t look bothered by the fact he woke up Levi, or the fact that he’s been missing for three days.

Levi is already on his way to his phone, but Eren’s voice is faster. “Don’t call them.” Levi slightly turns, to look at Eren directly. Eren is staring back, posture hard. It sounds a lot like a command, and Levi has to stop himself from making a joke. But then Eren’s eyes soften a bit, his voice sounding very small. “Please.” For a second Levi sees Eren, the frightened kid in his hallways of the institute, lost in a world he doesn’t know, looking for his way. He sees a weakness, one that Eren doesn’t often let anyone see anymore.

And that’s enough to convince him not to call, at least not yet. He sighs, genuinely annoyed. “Okay then. Do you need any painkiller? Anything?”

Eren shakes his head, slowly. “No I’m fine.”

Levi keeps his sarcastic answer for himself once more. He’s suddenly hit by how much he’s missed Eren, and how relieved he is to see him here. Eren is reckless, he could’ve died out there and no one would know. But no, Levi tells himself, Eren is here now, on his couch. He crosses the distance between them, sitting next to young man. He tries to relax, but something about not having seen Eren for so long and fearing he might run away again makes him nervous anyway.

If Eren notices, he doesn’t say anything. He looks detached, as if none of this was really happening. Levi eyes him carefully, but he doesn’t look like he’s about to do anything. So he swallows down his anxiety, trying to open the conversation that has to happen. “Eren...” What’s the best thing to say to someone you weren’t able to save in time, and now looks even worse than usual? “You look like shit.” The words flow easily, it’s almost funny to think about how much he used to say them. 

Eren must think it’s funny too, because his lips form a tiny crisped smile. Levi wishes he would look at him already. Instead Eren’s eyes remain unfocused.

“What did you even do to end up-”

Eren cuts him, but not unkindly. “Can we… not talk about it?” Levi raises an eyebrow. “Not yet. I just want to…” He doesn’t finish his sentence, but his whole body seem to relax in the couch. Levi carefully reaches out to catch his hand, squeezing it tightly. It earns him at least some kind of reaction from Eren, the boy finally looking at him in the eyes. A certain understanding crosses his features, and he returns the squeeze.

Levi allows himself to relax, his thumb absently massaging Eren’s hand. He briefly wonders if Eren will stay the night, and considers asking him but Eren made it clear he doesn’t want to talk. He will though, Levi has to make sure of that. Tomorrow he’ll have to call Hanji too. Then Mikasa and Armin. They’ll know what to do. Levi was never the brains for something like that. Then Eren will go finally home, and they’ll try to keep pretending they have it under control. Funny, how warm Eren’s hand is, but how far it feels. As if Eren lost himself along the way. He probably did.

They spend ten comfortable minutes this way, then Levi’s yawn is the signal that it is indeed nighttime and people usually sleep. He lets go of Eren’s hand, standing up quickly. “I’m going to get you a towel and something to wear. You’re not going to sleep dirty like that.”

Eren chuckles at that, probably expecting hearing something like that. “Okay.”

Levi shoots him a tight smile, before leaving. When he comes back Eren hasn’t moved. “I guess I don’t need to tell where to go.” He remarks, his thumb pointing where the washroom is nonetheless. Eren gets up, indeed knowing knowing his way around the house. “Will you need something to eat, or can it wait tomorrow?”

Please say you’ll be here tomorrow. “I’m not that hungry.” Levi tenses, waiting for a sign, something that will tell him Eren is indeed still going to be here when the sun comes up. But none comes, and Eren passes him, undisturbed. Oh how cruel it is, how much Levi keeps hoping for something he will never have. 

He lingers in the hallway a bit longer. He realizes he spaced out when he hears the shower running. He subtly shakes his head. His bed is waiting for him, Eren is probably not. 

He throws some pillows and a blanket on the couch, trusting Eren to sleep on it. It won’t be the first time he crashes at Levi’s place, but it’s also the first time Eren shows up in bruises at his doorstep at two in the morning. Levi also hopes it’ll be the last time.

 

No need to say Levi doesn’t get much sleep the rest of that night.

 

The sun hasn’t come up when Levi finds himself fully dressed, ready to leave his house for some early shopping. He didn’t need to check to know Eren hasn’t left, not having heard anything during the night. And if the bump on his couch is anything to go by, Eren is enjoying some well deserved sleep.

He comes back ten minutes later, bread and croissants with him. He probably makes too much noise this time, and Eren slowly appears from under the blanket. “Good morning.” Levi exclaims, being loud on purpose. He hears Eren sigh loudly, and it brings a small smile to his lips. “I thought you might want some of my so called, french breakfast.” At this his sees Eren’s figure rise up, in all its half naked glory. Levi could’ve sworn he gave him a shirt, or something. 

The young man stretches. “This feels weird.” His voice betrays some sadness, and Levi already knows what he is talking about. He hums, agreeing with Eren. He sees the young man going off somewhere, but coming back soon enough. He seems to remember the half naked situation, quickly putting on the clothe he disregarded somewhere during the night. 

Levi wastes no time serving the breakfast he prepared as efficiently as he could. No one can deny him his skill, and Eren looks pleased to see warm food. It almost makes Levi feel bad for broaching the subject he can’t avoid anymore.

“I’m going to call Hanji soon.” Eren’s smile drops. “Armin and Mikasa has been worried about you.” Eren knows this too, seeing how his face contorts with guilt. “I’m going to be honest with you Eren. You fucked up big time. I don’t care if you’re sorry, and you probably aren’t. You can’t keep doing this.”

Eren’s face hardens, but Levi is ready. He’s seen it all. “I did nothing wrong.”

Levi is not surprised, but he’d be lying if he said he didn’t hope for a different answer. He scowls, looking anywhere but Eren. “Whatever. I’ll have a talk with the monkey. He helped you get out, don’t try to convince me otherwise.”

Eren seems to realize he’s already lost this battle, rolling his eyes. He starts eating nevertheless, not annoyed at the point of storming out. “I thought you’d believe me…” he mumbles to himself, and Levi does not dignify him with an answer.

They eat in silence, the good mood all gone. Then Levi proceeds to wash the dishes with his hands, not trusting a dishwasher with his life. A strong hand appears on his shoulder, and wordlessly Eren helps him with it. They work perfectly, in silence.

Eren is the one to break the silence, once everything is done. He’s hunched, looking smaller than earlier. It’s starting to happen a lot more around Levi. “Levi I’m…” He looks for his words carefully. Even if Eren is a head taller than him, Levi feels like he’s the taller one at this instant. “I’m sorry.”

“About what? You’ve got plenty of things to be sorry for.” His tone is harsh, maybe a little too harsh for kind apology Eren offered. But Levi also has a lot of anger, and not a lot of time to vent.

Eren shakes his head. “I don’t know, I… Fuck Levi, you know why I came here?” Here, to Levi is implied. “I hoped… I want you to be proud of me! I-I know you’re not, but please, I have no idea what I’m doing I-” He cuts himself, looking down at his feet. 

Levi wants to believe him. Part of him does. But he also knows that Eren is lying. He knows exactly what he’s doing, and that’s why he never tells any of them what he’s doing. But Levi also knows that Eren isn’t really lying. To say he has a troubled mind is an understatement. So maybe Eren is actually, really trying to reach out to someone, something. And Levi happens at that moment to be the only someone Eren trusts enough to ask. It really is a shit show.

Maybe it’s how desperate he sounds, maybe it’s the plead in his eyes, or how weak he looks, that makes Levi go soft. Again. “It’s okay brat. I’m not giving up on you.” He’s never been good with words, but its seems to be the right to say since Eren smiles at him. Levi feels a bit embarrassed, and looks away quickly. “Okay, I’ll call Hanji now. I’m gonna to tell her that I’m taking you home. Are you okay with that?”

It’s Eren’s turn to look embarrassed, almost sheepish. “Hm, actually I think I have my own apartment now.”

Levi’s eyes go big. “You think?”

Eren nervously scratches his neck. “Yeah. My brother helped me. That way I won’t bother Mikasa any longer.” He knows, he knows that what he said will potentially anger Levi.

And he’s absolutely right. “The fuck Eren. Have you even talked to Mikasa about it?” He doesn’t need to hear the answer to know Eren didn’t. “You ever planned on telling her? Or Amin? Or anybody?”

“I’m telling you now.” Levi hates how hopeful he sounds. As if that could make up for the complete lack of communication they had. “And I broke my phone.”

The thing is, Levi has experience in self control. He knows himself enough to know that some things will get him in a sour mood quickly, and he will try to avoid them. And that’s it. That’s one of those things. He knows he’s this close to kicking Eren in the head. Teach him one thing or two. “Okay. Perfect. Fine.”

He reaches out for his phone, leaving the kitchen before he looses control and harms Eren. He clicks on Hanji’s name angrily, slamming the door of his bedroom behind him.

“Levi?”

Hanji’s voice does nothing to soothe him. “Yeah. Eren’s at my place.”

“WHAT?!?”

Levi gently massages his temples with his free hand, knowing he can’t blame Hanji for the big reaction. “Yeah. Long story short, he doesn’t look very good, and he spent the night here and apparently owns an apartment his dear brother helped him find. He doesn’t want to go back to Mikas-”

“Wait wait wait wait, spent the night?! When did he get there?! Why didn’t you call me!”

“Because, it was two in the fucking morning and I wasn’t sure he’d still be there in the morning.”

“So he’s here? With you? Right now?”

“We had breakfast, so yeah he’s somewhere in my house.”

“I’m coming over!”

“Wait no! I can bring him to you if you- damnit.” Hanji hanged up, probably not listening to him at all. Great. Just great.

 

When Levi comes back to the living room, Eren is tidying up the couch, probably trying to apologize for the shitty news he spit out to Levi. But it does nothing to Levi, who simply stares at the hard work. Eren has tied back his hair in a bun, so Levi can finally see his whole face again. “What did they say?”

Levi crosses his arms, glaring at Eren. “They want to talk to you. I hope you’ll have answers to their questions.”

To his surprise, Eren doesn’t back down. “They caught me by accident. I was looking for someone Zeke told me would help me, but I wasn’t careful enough.” He stares into Levi’s eyes, knowing it wasn’t what Levi expected. “Zeke isn’t manipulating me” Into killing people who stand in the way of their so called ‘revolution’ is implied. “I don’t understand why you aren’t glad he helped me get out. You told me this place wasn’t good for me.”

Levi can’t deny he said that. But that was a long time ago. “Maybe, but maybe that’s where you belong.” There are no words to describe how heart broken Eren looks at that moment. Levi almost feels guilty, but he knows it’s the truth. “I’m glad you’re out, just not that the monkey abused of his position or whatever to speed it up. Eren, laws exist for a reason, you can’t play God all the time.”

“Well maybe I am.”

Levi looks at him skeptically. Apparently he didn’t learn a single thing. It doesn’t really matter anyway. Hanji will talk to him and everything will be just fine. Fine.

“Levi, look at me.”

Reluctantly, Levi does.

“I’m not crazy.”

That’s probably the biggest lie of all.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this is very short!!  
> ..  
> ...  
> ....  
> Just like Levi amirite *dabs away*

Levi tries to pretend he doesn’t hear them, but it’s obvious that he can’t do anything but listen. Eren looks sharper now, his eyes fixating Hanji with purpose. Levi almost feels bad them, no one wants to be at the receiving end of that look nowadays. But it has been Hanji’s job for a while, they know how to handle this. If they can’t, Levi sure as hell can’t.

“-she wants to see you happy. We all want that.”

Levi’s gaze not so accidentally meets his couch again, where Eren is seated. Legs open, forearms on his thighs. Levi is no expert in body language, but he knows damn well when someone is trying to appear in control. Something Eren desperately seem to want.

“Well being on my own will make me happy. I don’t see where the problem is.”

Hanji sighs, definitely getting tired of the same answer. “Eren, you can’t look at me in the eyes and tell me living alone would make you happy. You know how loneliness feels.”

“But that’s what I want.” His voice raises a bit, enough to get Levi to look again. Eren is not going to change his mind. 

Hanji’s eyes drop, and Levi knows they know. “Okay, but please do visit Armin and Mikasa often.”

Eren’s face does this weird thing where he looks disgusted, but also very in pain, and it’s gone in a blink. “Don’t worry about it.”

“Okay.” They sounds on the contrary, worried. “If you don’t have a phone, how will you get the keys to your apartment?”

Eren point at his coat. “I already have them.” His eyes slides to meet Levi’s. “Levi is will give me a ride.” His gaze does not actually, move and he’s just staring at Levi, waiting for him to say something. Levi shrugs in Hanji’s direction. She looks just as confused as him. 

“Well, hm, okay then.” Eren is still not looking at her. If his purpose is making this awkward then he does a great job at it. “I’ll trust you to not do anything illegal, in the meantime I hope you get well, Eren.” Finally, the young man seem to remember he’s having a conversation with his therapist and he turns his head in their direction. Hanji smiles warmly at him. “Stay safe.” With that they stand up, grabbing their belongings swiftly before making their way to the door. They look almost happy, and Levi is about to comment on it when they turn to look at them with a playful smile. “I’m sure you two have a lot to talk about!”

Levi wants to tell them to shut the fuck up, but he can’t remember the last time they looked this happy with Eren around so he lets it slide, a small a pout on his face. Hanji giggles, waving goodbye.

 

When Levi puts his shoes on, Eren is already waiting for him in front of the door. They both seem to expect the other to speak up, but the silence stretches. Eventually Eren gives in, a silent sigh leaving his lips. “I’m sorry you have to deal with this.”

Levi shoots him a look, his eyebrow raising slightly. “Deal with what?” He puts on his coat, grabbing the keys on his way.

Eren looks tired, not for the first time. “Me. If I could make this easier for you I would.”

Levi huffs, a bit offended. “You can, you know.” He hesitates, wondering what the heck he’s doing but then his hand finds Eren’s shoulder and his eyes stare at the other man, not without intensity. “All I’m asking is honesty. I know it’s probably not easy for you neither, but you owe it to us to tell what you’re actually thinking, not what you think we want to hear.”

A spark Levi recognizes as genuine lights in Eren’s eyes, the young man finally seeing Levi. “What if I’m wrong Levi? What if I hurt you?” The plead in his eyes is very real, it’s all so confusing to remember this is the same person who goes out in the streets and beats up people for some kind of revolution.

Levi frowns, bending Eren down to make their forehead touch. “Remember, I’m not made out of glass, whatever you try to do I can always take it.” He releases Eren just as quickly, finally making his way out of his house. Eren follows closely behind, looking a bit lost but following Levi to his car nonetheless.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading so far! This is a mess I know, I suck at writing and don't have the motivation to write more.
> 
> But hey who knows, maybe I'll update? Someday?
> 
> Anyway my tumblr for snk is [ here ](https://tristidude.tumblr.com/)


End file.
